Woman cleaning her wardrobe

Clean Your Closet! What Fashions are Out for 2016

When it comes to matters of a sartorial nature, the lines are not as clearly drawn as we’d always like them to be, and understanding trends can be a murky business. Do they really have a “sell-by“ or in this case, “wear-by” date? And who, exactly, determines when a trend is “trended out,” and dictates the unspoken edict that makes anyone who didn’t get the memo look like they’re anything from flat out of place and mal-informed, totally ignorant? Like it or not, and without an official memo, there are a bunch of trends that it doesn’t take a genius to tell that continuing them would be a risky proposition. These are many that will likely never return to their former glory days, most of the time because they were in a separate category far from anything mainstream. Once everyone recovered from the shock effect, these trends became a thing for a while, but once over, they were over– they briefly killed and then were killed. Amen.

Guilty Parties Can Remain Anonymous, BUT
It’s not necessary to call for a show of hands here, but if you happen to be the owner of any of the following, it’s fairly safe to say you can toss them, especially as doing so will make room from some of the up and coming styles for the warmer days just ahead. No matter how good you looked in a now-gone fashion, you won’t look good if it’s outdated or obsolete. By eliminating these and other similar stuff, you’ll avoid making a serious fashion faux pas that will be hard to impossible to live down.

  • Arm-Binding Fashions: There’s been a stab here and there at this style, but none have resulted in producing any follow-worthy trend, and this makes a lot of us happy. You’ve seen them–the tops and dresses that feature arm-restricting necklines. Those “extra” pieces that appear to be securely strapped to your upper arms and wrapped tightly around your upper body like a morphed turtleneck that dropped 20 inches too low. While there will always be some people who choose to live their lives as a mannequin, most of us would rather be able to move naturally–and use our arms, over being mummy-bound and in agony.
  • Pumps with Rounded Toes: This style might be adorable as a pair of starter heels for an 8-year-old, but their look-enhancement value stops soon thereafter. Heels with round toes are a footwear argument between a little girl front and a sophisticated chic heel.
  • Neon Colored Wearables: If you want to stand out from the crowd, do so in a way that will be flattering, not blinding and embarrassing to anyone you’re with.
  • Pyramid-Studded Motowear: The short trend of these edgy details is over. A return to classic leather that’s touchable is back.
  • Harem Pants: We know that YOU don’t own these, right?
  • Ugly Shoes: Sorry, Doc Marten, but some of your styles are radically over. The era of the monster boot is gone, along with big, chunky lines and square toes for Manly Mary Janes. While they will always look great on Frankenstein, that’s where they stop.


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